Does your little one always have their thumb in their mouth? If so, you might worry about what it will do to their future dental work. How can you stop thumb-sucking in children? Is it essential to try, or will they grow out of it? Here’s what you should know to parent with understanding, compassion and common sense.
Is It Essential to Stop Your Kids From Thumb-Sucking?
Another question to ask yourself is how old is your child? If they’re under the age of 4, you probably don’t have to do anything. Most kids grow out of the habit around this age, and developing the habit after seven months is rare.
Children are born needing to suck — without it, they couldn’t feed. In general, they begin dropping thumb-sucking once solid foods enter the picture.
Can Preventing Your Child’s Thumb Sucking Be Harmful?
In some cases, yes. For example, children who are neurodiverse may turn to thumb-sucking as stimming behavior to quell overwhelming anxiety. Refusing to let them engage in this activity can result in them seeking an alternative way to release the stress — and you might like the resulting behavior even less.
Worse, replacement behaviors such as head-banging can result in far more severe injury than sucking their thumb, even after their permanent teeth emerge. Furthermore, it’s never too early to begin teaching your children about bodily autonomy.
Actions like forcibly grabbing your child’s arm and yanking their thumb from their mouth violate this principle. You, as a parent, may have to intervene if a well-meaning but misguided relative engages in such behaviors. It’s far more important to teach your child that no one has the right to use force to get their way than it is to cease their thumb-sucking habit.
Problems Arising From Thumb-Sucking Once Permanent Teeth Emerge
However, there are valid reasons for concern about how to stop thumb-sucking in kids, especially as they age. Once your child’s permanent teeth emerge, continued thumb-sucking may impact their bite. The American Dental Association recommends parents intervene with thumb-sucking after age 4, and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry suggests starting such interventions at age 3.
While it may seem like bite problems are primarily cosmetic, they can increase health risks. For example, malocclusions — the fancy word for incorrect bite patterns — can increase the risk of gum disease and cause headaches and chronic pain. Scientists have also established connections between gum disease and other, more fatal conditions like dementia.
How to Stop (or Gently Discourage) Thumb-Sucking in Children Without Dimming Their Shine
Knowing how to stop or gently discourage your little one’s thumb-sucking is a delicate art. You must do so in a way that respects their autonomy and doesn’t teach any unwanted lessons. Remembering the following five D’s can make the job a little easier. Here’s what to do.
1. Distract
One of the best ways to break an unwanted habit for people of any age is substitution. For example, someone who wishes to quit smoking might take up chewing gum. Youth, fortunately, are not immune — they may even take more readily to the proposed, healthier behavior. This new habit interferes with the autopilot response that makes your kid’s thumb automatically stray mouthwards when they encounter particular stimuli, including boredom.
You might not be able to identify all their triggers, but you can distract them with a substitute behavior. It might work even better if you don’t let them know why you’re doing it. When you see your child sucking their thumb, whip out an alternative. It might be a fidget spinner, a small hand-held game or a coloring book and crayons.
Use caution with food-related interventions. Creating an association between snacks and a reward could set them up for eating struggles later in life.
2. Delay
Delaying is similar to distraction in that it takes your little one’s attention off thumb-sucking and directs it toward something else. In this case, the “something else” isn’t an object but an activity. This method is a bit more labor-intensive, as it requires you to engage with them for the magic to work.
For example, when you notice your kid thumb-sucking, you might:
- Ask them to help you make dinner or another fun chore they enjoy.
- Invite them to play a game or throw the ball around the yard.
- Take a short trip — most kids love a chance to visit the playground.
3. Demonstrate
Children aren’t born knowing healthy coping mechanisms. They rely on adults to teach them. When the grownups in charge of them neglect this duty, they’ll seek alternative means like thumb-sucking to manage big feelings.
One of the most crucial jobs you have as a parent is to teach your kid how to identify and cope with their emotions, especially the big ones. Healthy interventions include:
- Coloring or drawing
- Practicing yoga — make it kid-appropriate
- Doing a vigorous physical activity like jumping jacks
- Humming or singing
- Engaging in another repetitive motion, such as rocking in a rocking chair or swinging on a swing
Children learn more from what you do than what you say — simply telling them to go color to settle themselves rarely works. Instead, they need to see you using these interventions.
How do you manage your big feelings? Do you yell, maybe even throw things? Expect your little one to do the same. However, if they see you head to the yoga mat to work through what’s on your mind, they’re more likely to imitate that positive habit.
4. Dig Deep
There’s an underlying reason for every behavior. Emotion and thought goes into it. If your kid continues thumb-sucking past the age of 3 or 4, booking an appointment with a psychiatrist is wise, although you may have to go through your family doctor for the recommendation.
Often, children can pick up on underlying anxieties in the home, so examine your lifestyle as well as theirs. Are there things you need to work on? For example, if you and their other parent often engage in heated arguments, attending couples therapy to learn healthier communication styles benefits you and your little one.
5. Delight
Some kids — especially those on the autism spectrum — respond best to a reasoned approach paired with rewards for engaging in the desired behavior. Explain the health risks of continued thumb-sucking to your child, describing how it can lead to bigger, more painful problems in the future — without being too scary.
Then, offer a small reward such as $5 extra on their allowance or an inexpensive toy if they make it through the day without you catching them sucking their thumb. It’s super important to keep it a game and not punitive. For example, if you catch them in the act, say, “Gotcha!” with a smile instead of a stern “Are you sucking your thumb again?” Play into their natural desire to do well and please.
How to Stop Thumb-Sucking in Children
Thumb-sucking often stops naturally in kids before age 4. However, if yours persists in the habit, it can have greater dental health consequences down the road.
Knowing how to stop thumb-sucking in children requires a gentle approach. The trick is to encourage them to stop sucking their thumb without shaming them. Use the five D’s to guide your toddler with love, patience and sound psychological principles that teach healthy coping mechanisms and show them how much you care.
