Most of us never bother to ask “What are conflict handling skills?” Maybe because we already saw it in practice and how its abundance or lack thereof contributed to our personal relationships. But the handling conflict concept is nothing to be taken lightly.
Romantic relationships are probably one of the pivotal structures that keep our society intact. Many of our choices revolve around how to be happy with ourselves and make the people we cherish delighted as well. Our romantic partners contribute to a large chunk of our happiness or misery, and the choice of who that gets to be is one of the most important decisions we ever make in our lives.
However, just like everything else under the sun, relationships face problems, and the methods we implement when handling conflict make or break whatever relationships we have going on. Take modern communication methods, for instance. They have been both a blessing and a curse to how we interact with each other.
The means of handling conflict have evolved to cater to the new challenges that modern dating has posed. Just take a look at the dating sites, you’ll quickly notice that the dynamics of relationships have changed immensely to handle conflict in traditional courtship. So how can we handle conflict healthily?
Talking Directly Without Blaming Your Partner
Handling conflict in relationships can be a mess sometimes. Often, most people do not enjoy having conflict and would rather avoid it, in turn, passively being aggressive without addressing their concerns. Indirect ways of handling conflict in relationships are not constructive because they might not address the problem’s root.
Handling conflict at home can be particularly troublesome when one partner chooses to blame the other for the chaos. Studies show that partners blaming each other in relationships with minor problems tend to have lower satisfaction over time. This is because minor mistakes tend to be taken less seriously, and the problems get progressively worse.
In contrast, partners talking to each other in relationships about significant problems tend to be more satisfied over time because substantial issues have to be resolved before making progress. This makes the partner at fault own up. After a while, their problems become less significant, and the satisfaction in the partnership improves.
Without handling conflict and anger simultaneously, and in the healthiest way, the relationship is bound to fail. But this involves acknowledging the behavior that causes the problem and solving it without making your partner feel like less of a person for making mistakes.
Find Some Middle Ground And Don’t Seek To Be In Control
Some of the best handling conflict examples demonstrate the need to agree on what you think is and isn’t essential to the disagreement. To handle conflict, you both need to establish what you are comfortable with and then come to a compromise without feeling like you are sacrificing too much.
For example, one way of practicing how to handle conflict is by asking your partner to help you with specific tasks. For example, if you are always taking care of the dates, ask your partner to do the same once in a while. It will strike a balance that prevents that issue from compounding and spilling onto other problems and habits.
Relationships have struggles, and handling conflict of interest can arise when you both want different outcomes from the same situation. In this case, the best way of handling problems is to avoid the urge to control all the time. This may make your partner feel like their wants or needs are not important enough.
At best, they may feel restricted, and their satisfaction will continue to wane over time. At worst, if handling conflict is not well conducted, the relationship may be abusive to one side.
Evaluate Your Focus
If we focus on solving the problem and not about who the bad guy is, that is the first step in a thousand more towards recovery and saving our relationships. Also, how well we communicate affects how good we get at handling conflicts. Couples who express their concerns appropriately can compromise on what works for both of them.
On the other hand, partners who focus on bad habits when handling conflict often widen the rift between them. In any dispute that arises for a couple, establishing the things we are willing to accept is critical to getting something done instead of handling conflict without clearly defined limits.
Find Opportunity In Handling Conflict
Lastly, we should learn to see conflicts as opportunities to better align ourselves with each other. The conflict in the relationship has exposed something wrong that needs to be fixed to ensure the relationship runs smoothly. Conflict in relationships presents us with a chance to learn about our partners and love them on an even deeper level.
This happens despite the mistakes and issues that each of us carries. None of us is perfect, and we are bound to collide on matters that are important to us. The lessons we learn from them can only bolster our resolve to move past the differences and move forward and grow stronger together.
Navigating disputes properly is very important for long term relationships. However, it is a skill many of us take for granted. Instead, we choose to shift the blame to other people or our circumstances when we should bear the responsibility of fixing the things we break.
Conclusion
Relationships are hard work, and dealing with another person is never easy. Personal interests will clash over any period, starting with small things like who should take out the trash to the bigger ones like how to spend life savings. Remember, throughout our lives we pick up the traits of people we love in a way, they become as much a reflection of us as we are of them. This makes handling conflict a vital life skill.
Do you think modern relationships have different problems from those earlier in history? How have our resolutions changed? Please share your thoughts in the comments and don’t shy away from asking any questions you might have on the topic.
